watching u sleeping

When you’re sleeping I see thousand miracles

Some of them is untold in this story

But some are memorable to the end of my life



I see your hair waving melody of peace falling to your neck

The wave where never stop

The wave that it looks freeze my soul

Your hair is shining and dark glowing, flashing my eyes, blind my heart



Your eyes is closed, but I see deeper echoes that roaming my eyes

Two eyelids close a crystal of mystery

Crystal that value exceed the Pandora box herself

Your eyes reflect an aroma of serenity and peace to my life

That is why my love, I always dream to end and to start my day looking at them



Your breath sound is the most fascinating miracle I cannot forget

It sound singing a song none can sing

It sing all my story and dream

Sound that bring me to a place, with no joy nor sadness, it is just peace in my heart

My love to you is all I have in my life, and the song I heard while you sleep is the only song that explain everything.

I Love You…

Snake

The one with venom

With no cure for its kill

No solution for trouble it brings

And you just can’t kill something you can’t see



Silent watcher

Crawl beneath your legs

It rarely lures its prey

The prey comes by it itself



Him smile with venom on the tips of its fangs

For its prey come as if they need the venom

Cure it possibly not, heal it may be

But since illness requires chance, then death is an option



It bites, run away, watching how the prey dies

Then come back to finish the rest of it

Surviving prey promise next day meal, as death one promise today fiesta

That is how snake may live



Hard to catch, difficult to recognize

Changing its skin to cover it track

A life in a cold blood it choose

A path of a snake he live

Fighter

Blew from the stream of empty life

A desert where love belong to the shadow

Dry and warm it blow my skin

Come along with a news from forbidden land



Here I am standing alone facing more than a giant

Standing face to face with sand storm that I know is about to come

Sword in my hand is an old metal against God himself



But I tremble not, and fear none

For die is every us must go

But fighting the army of desert is my destiny

At end, to be a winner is not why we live



For whom now I pray?

Fighting something He sends against me

Battle enemy that no sword could cut

But death is never certain, isn’t it?



The only thing I know for this dire time

Standing here is no with no purpose

I fight for my dream this sands try to bury

And I will defend my dream to my end

Fighting this stormy sand is my destiny

Pendidikan saya

Pendidikan menuntut saya membangun sebuah rumah sederhana dalam waktu 1,5 tahun. Namun saat saya membangun rumah itu, saya sadar bahwa pondasi saya lemah dan goyah, bahkan saya tidak yakin pondasi ini bisa menopang sebuah rumah sederhana. Kemudian saya coba membuat pintu, dan jendela.



Selesai dengan pintu kecil itu, saya sadar 1,5 tahun dengan pondasi ini saya tidak akan menyelesaikan apa - apa. singkatnya waktu membuat saya memutuskan untuk berhenti membangun rumah sederhana, tetapi saya mulai dari membangun sebuah gubuk yang bisa ditinggali dan melindungi saya dari hujan. Keputusan ini didasarkan suatu pemikiran bahwa sebuah gubuk yang melindungi saya dari hujan lebih baik daripada sebuah rumah sederhana yang hanya punya pintu dan beberapa jendela, dengan tembok - tembok yang tidak terselesaikan, dan tanpa atap.





Semoga mulai dari gubuk inilah saya meletakan batu prtama istana saya.

catacomb

Filming my memories

Remember every thought I forget

Recollected every pieces of heart that I break

Far that I run from my own heart

Deep that I sink into my dream

Pursuing what is there that never been there to exist

But I just a lost man

Man who is lost in his own life,

Man with no aim wandering his dream



None may relieve this confusion

For I try many path that always lead me back to you

Path that You draw

And with my tears wash every step I make

Yet it never cleans a dirty path of mine.



This memory plays every way I’ve been through

Every turn I make

Every mistake I’ve done

Just let me back to the same pain

Facing same golden door I know nothing if it is shall lead me to nowhere

But standing still always changing nothing but stillness itself



With fear and anxiety embrace my broken heart

I just want to get away from this

I just want to fly high as I touch the sky

So I won’t have to wander aimlessly in my heart

God, have mercy on me, for I’m tired and dying eternally



Closing my eyes, trying to believe

My lost memories haunting me

Love every thought I forget

Find every pieces of heart that I break

Back to my own heart

Deep that I sink into my dream

Pursuing a pray what is there that never been there to exist

But I just a man

Man who is lost almost everything,

Man who is dreaming a dream in dreamy life



I love you, and this is where I always lost my heart to

Me and them

Blew from the stream of empty life

A desert where love belong to the shadow

Dry and warm it blow my skin

Come along with a news from forbidden land



Here I am standing alone facing more than a giant

Standing face to face with sand storm that I know is about to come

Sword in my hand is an old metal against God himself



But I tremble not, and fear none

For die is every us must go

But fighting the army of desert is my destiny

At end, to be a winner is not why we live



For whom now I pray?

Fighting something He sends against me

Battle enemy that no sword could cut

But death is never certain, isn’t it?



The only thing I know for this dire time

Standing here is no with no purpose

I fight for my dream this sands try to bury

And I will defend my dream to my end

Fighting this stormy sand is my destiny

opthalmolovist

My love to you is clear as a cornea

With no pterygium, nor pingueculae

It may face many traumas and develop much erosion

But mark me that my love will never go with cicatrix



Your light always comes through me,

Tell iris to shine

Without you light

Iris would be as beauty as dead himself



Your face dilate my pupil

Tell me how bright you are

Open it as wide as necessary to let u into me

I will arrange every need of me upon your call



The clear lens with no waterfall in it

Unveil mist of your mystery

And shall refract the miracle of your existence

This lens will put your perfect image at the only place in my eyes that is exist for you



When your image landed in my retina

My eyes is blinded

My heart is stopped

My brain is exited

Because all my organ knows that God let the miracle enter through the eyes of mine

i really want to study IT

Long time studying medical world....
I love my life n this career. the way they think, and the way we defend ourselves...
This doctor people have really high PRIDE, some or maybe most of them is too proud of themselves, too proud that they seems feeling superior than other career...

Since I'm in high school, I always want to study drama, and computer programing..... but i never dare to challenge my parent...
here i am studying medicine and meet people at most worst day of their life...
worst meaning worst. when i watch Crime Scene Investigator, they said "most of time, we meet people at the worst time of their life" (which for me means they meet people who watch dead body of people they love)...
but let say it is worse to watch people we love dying because we have nothing to pay his/er medical situation...

once I become a doctor i will start to study computer programing for one year or at least for 6 months.....
I want to be graphic designer, or an actor...

Just a dream of a child buried by fear and anxiety of future

orang yang tidak bisa menerima dirinya apa adanya, hidup dalam bayang - bayang ekspektasi tinggi yang TIDAK AKAN PERNAH selesai meskipun mungkin tercapai

Hati yang melapisi jiwa dapat menjadi buta, tetapi mata pikiran tidak akan buta selama ilmu menjadi lentera dalam mengambil keputusan

doubt is a part of wisdom, and poison to faith, and unacceptable for love.

matahari yang bersinar bagi jagad tidak pernah mendapatkan sinar dari pribadi lain, ketika dia merasa dirinya gelap